The Warrior Princess

Herc and Iolaus are working in a forge, hammering away at a knife they're making. When they finish, Herc gives the knife to Iolaus, saying that he'll just claim the next one that they make. In town, Iolaus is practicing with the knife, flinging it at the posts of a house he believes to be abandoned. However, he finds that the house is now inhabitated by a former lover, Syreena, who informs him that she and her husband, Tremulus, have just moved in. She asks Iolaus to take it easy on the house, before heading back inside to help Tremulus with something. Herc and Iolaus start walking away, Iolaus now finding himself depressed. Herc reminds his friend that there's plenty of fish in the sea, assuring him that somewhere out there, the "perfect woman" is waiting for him. Elsewhere, a warrior woman named Xena puts her men through their paces. Dissatisfied with their performance, she calls them pathetic, saying that they're never gonna defeat Hercules if they don't learn to fight better. "And I want him dead," she declares angrily.

Later (or possibly, the next day), Herc is at his mother Alcmene's house, putting up a stone wall around her property. She interrupts him for a picnic, and the two get to talking about Iolaus, Alcmene remarking that she can see the loneliness in his eyes and that it breaks her heart. Meanwhile, Xena is giving instructions to her second-in-command, Theodorus, saying she doesn't want to see him before he's needed. Obediently, he takes off, leaving her beside a road with her horse. She immediately lames the horse, but then starts tending to its injury, just as Iolaus appears from around a hill. He offers her help, and at first, she pretends to be afraid of him, but then accepts his offer. That night, Herc finds Iolaus at the local tavern, having drinks with Xena. Herc reminds him that he was supposed to help build Alcmene's wall, and Iolaus admits that he forgot. Herc and Xena then introduce themselves, with Herc hyping up his best friend to Xena. Before Herc can learn more about her, though, Xena asks for Iolaus's help finding a "soft, warm bed" for the night and the two leave. A week later, Herc is back to working on Alcmene's wall, and mopes that he hasn't seen Iolaus since he left the tavern with Xena. He says he misses his friend and just wants to spend some time with him doing something mundane, but Alcmene points out that Xena could be the cure for Iolaus's loneliness and that Herc should be happy for him. Reluctantly, Herc agrees. That night, Xena and Iolaus are in bed together. She says she doesn't want Iolaus falling in love with her, claiming that she'd love to stay with him if she didn't have other obligations, namely helping a village in the Arcadian Highlands under siege from a warlord named Petrakis. She says she's been building an army to defend them, and that she had intended to ask Hercules for help. Iolaus offers to help instead, and Xena initially refuses, insisting she'd be devastated if something happened to him, but then, appears to accept his offer. Later, Xena meets with Theodorus, who is apparently also her lover. She sends him to kill Hercules, even giving him her necklace to wear for luck. The next day, Iolaus and Xena find Herc still working on the wall, and inform him of their intent to rid Arcadia of the warlord Petrakis. Herc offers to help, but Xena vehemently refuses, insisting that Iolaus is all the help she needs. With that, the two ride off towards Arcadia. Afterwards, Herc heads to the barn, to find Theodorus waiting for him. The two fight, with Theodorus ending up impaled on a rake. As he dies, he apologizes for failing Xena, and that's when Herc finds Xena's necklace.

That night, Herc tells his mother about Theodorus, realizing that Xena had sent her second-in-command on a suicide mission, all in the hopes of baiting Herc into a trap. Alcmene worries that if Herc goes after Iolaus, his friend will think Herc's coming to steal his glory and the two's friendship will be destroyed. Herc argues that saving Iolaus's life is more important, though promises to come back in one piece and with Iolaus in tow. The next day, Xena and Iolaus are meandering through a forest. Xena insists she doesn't care about Hercules or his reputation, and even argues that all the good Herc does is selfishly motivated by him trying to prove he can succeed without Zeus. Iolaus doesn't want to hear anything negative about his best friend, but Xena tells him that he's a better man than Herc will ever be. Eventually, the two come across some soldiers, who Xena identifies as being part of Petrakis's army. Xena attacks the soldiers, and Iolaus jumps into the fray. They kick butt, but one soldier gets away. Xena tries to go after him, but Iolaus tells her that it's over and that the soldier won't be coming back. In the process, his knife falls to the ground. Later, Xena and Iolaus arrive at her base camp, and Xena introduces Iolaus to her men. She then tells her men to get back to what they were doing, before taking Iolaus's hand and leading him somewhere private. Meanwhile, Herc comes across the scene of Xena and Iolaus's fight, and discovers the knife he'd made with Iolaus. Back at Xena's base camp, Iolaus is in the middle of a bath, when Xena joins him in the water. However, they're interrupted by a knock at the door, with one of her men informing her that Hercules has arrived. Xena deduces that Herc must've followed them, and tells Iolaus that Herc probably doesn't think his friend is man enough to help her. Getting dressed, Iolaus meets Herc outside, while Xena looks on from a balcony above. Herc informs Iolaus that Xena tried to have him killed, but Iolaus will hear none of it and instead, tells Herc to leave. He even throws a punch when Herc tries stop him from walking away. Realizing he's lost his best friend, Herc gives Iolaus back the knife, then leaves.

That night, Herc is at a tavern, moping, when he's approached by a couple of men. They ask for his help against Xena, a.k.a. the Warrior Princess, revealing that Xena's trying to conquer Arcadia and that she's threatened to kill them if they don't give up their crops and wares. He's also approached by an old man named Petrakis, and Herc learns that Xena's been using the old man's name for some "imaginary madman" in order to accomplish her goals, doing and saying anything to get what she wants. Petrakis points out that if Xena kills Herc, then they'll be no one left to stop her. Back at Xena's base camp, meanwhile, Iolaus is sharpening his sword, lamenting the end of his and Herc's friendship. Xena says that if Herc really was his friend, he wouldn't have tried to interfere, and that Iolaus was a "true warrior" for standing up to him. She then goes to meet with her new second-in-command, Estragon, scheming to bring Herc back and pit him against Iolaus. Estragon is unsure of her strategy, but Xena insists that a "true warrior" weakens and demoralizes their opponent before destroying them. According to her, Herc's devastation at having killed his best friend will make the demigod easier to kill. She says they'll go after him at dawn, but until then, Estragon needs to save his strength. The following morning, Petrakis shows Herc the grave where his son is buried. He reveals that his son fell into the same trap as Iolaus, and is adamant that Herc not give up on his friend. Xena's a monster, Petrakis says, no different from other monsters Herc has faced. Realizing he's right, Herc sets off to save Iolaus. Meanwhile, Iolaus awakens just in time to watch Xena ride off with Estragon. Not long after, Xena and Estragon come across Herc, though are unseen by him. While Xena remains hidden, Estragon challenges Herc, but is swiftly defeated. Estragon surrenders to Herc, and that's when Xena finally comes out of hiding to slice Estragon's throat with her chakram. She says that that's what happens when her men don't follow *her* code. She then runs off back towards camp, stopping long enough to rub dirt on herself, muss up her hair, and tear her dress. Upon returning to base camp, she tells Iolaus that Herc killed Estragon and had tried to kill her as well.

Xena lies that she and Estragon had been caught by surprise, to which Iolaus is astonished that Herc would ambush people or attack women. Regardless, Iolaus refuses to back down, assuring Xena that he's willing to kill his best friend in order to protect her. Xena cheers him on, pointing out that if anyone could defeat Hercules, it's Iolaus. Later, as Herc makes his way towards Xena's camp, Xena instructs her men to let Herc and Iolaus fight it out, until Iolaus is dead and Herc is left "staggered" by what he's done to his best friend. Then and only then, she says, will they move in and rid the world of Hercules. Once Herc does arrive, Iolaus goes to meet him, sword in hand. Herc pushes him aside, though, instead heading right for Xena. However, Iolaus demands to fight Herc, even giving him a sword with which to defend himself. Herc, for his part, refuses to fight his best friend, though still raises his sword to meet Iolaus's attacks. Iolaus angrily assumes that Herc feels he's too good for him, but Herc insists otherwise, assuring him that he's just biding his time until Iolaus comes to his senses. Iolaus even draws the knife he and Herc had forged, but then discards it, as he can't bring himself to kill his best friend. Herc feels the same, and when it looks like neither men are going to continue fighting, Xena orders her men to attack. With Herc and Iolaus back on the same side, however, the battle doesn't exactly go Xena's way. So, she instead calls for what's left of her army to retreat. Before she rides off, though, she warns Herc that he hasn't seen the last of her. Herc and Iolaus watch her go, Iolaus realizing how "stupid" he'd been. Fortunately for Iolaus, Herc refuses to lecture him, and the two start heading back towards home. They joke about the kind of woman Iolaus is attracted to, with Iolaus briefly considering giving up women altogether before settling on the kind of woman that wants to "kill [him] with kisses."